In a fight, would: Show up wearing someone else's face. Elves jerked off by Santa (Uncle Mike) for the "special eggnog"? A West German (Uncle Mike) who lures East Germans into his home so he can kill them and fuck their corpses? No. I love jizz jokes and nastiness as much as the next girl, but this was too much-every joke is gross and none are clever.
In a fight, would: Sneak out the back and abuse himself in the alley. If you're in a misanthropic mood, you can create an Ebenezer who doesn't learn one goddamned thing. The best part is that the audience chooses the ending. "Watching a 10-year-old girl cry?" Cratchit asked helpfully.
"Is there anything more beautiful than watching an 11-year-old girl cry?" he shouted. In a fight, would: Mime machine-gun fire, get mauled by make-believe enemies.Ī recent performance featured a Scrooge who ran a gymnastics academy for young girls. But anyone who has listened to Sedaris's recital of Santaland on NPR will be disappointed with Bianchi's performance-in no small part because he can't seem to remember his lines. Maybe it will go away tomorrow, but I don't think so," to a group of visiting deaf kids, and when he sings "Away in a Manger" à la Billie Holiday. There are two funny moments in John Bianchi's one-man performance of David Sedaris's Santaland Diaries: when Crumpet the elf signs, "Santa has a tumor in his head the size of an olive. In a fight, would: Whimper in the corner. In the end, they're the reason the pageant (and the play) are so great.
#TAPROOT GIFT OF THE MAGI FULL#
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever is quick (less than an hour), cute (the cast is full of funny kids), and based on the children's book of the same name: A group of good-for-nothing siblings who smoke, fight, and swear get cast in the annual Christmas pageant at a local church and threaten to destroy it. Support local, independent media with a one-time or recurring contribution. More than ever, we depend on your support to help fund our coverage. In a fight, would: Cute its enemies to death. The rest of the performance suffers from bizarre casting, patchy singing, freeze-frame narration, old-time ethnic stereotyping, and an inflated storyline, which adds irritating angst to the original tale's wry sentimentality. Tancioco, who plays an upright piano enthusiastically and unobtrusively for 87 minutes straight. Henry short stories is the musical director, R. The best thing about this musical adaptation of two O. In a fight, would: Clobber everyone with dramatic irony. By Farndale's two-hour mark I was ready to stick my head inside a Christmas goose and bake my own brains. Zany, manic failure is funny for about 15 minutes. The people are British, the play is A Christmas Carol, and things like bad acting and audience participation and purposeful terribleness and falling down happen. This play-within-a-play is about people who aren't good at putting on plays trying to put on a play. In a fight, would: Beat Tiny Tim to death with his own tiny crutch. The Farndale Avenue Housing Estate Townswomen's Guild Dramatic Society's Production of 'A Christmas Carol' ( Pacific Northwest Ballet) PAUL CONSTANT The set entirely carries this tired old show. The loudest applause at the performance I attended was for a Sendak-designed Christmas tree that twinkles and unfolds into an enormous, mouse's-eye-view monolith. The opening party scene is an understated mess, and guest dancer Uko Gorter doesn't give Herr Drosselmeier the appropriate creepy-uncle vibe. This year, though, most of the dancers are simply phoning it in. The program admits that "Nutcracker provides 52 percent of PNB's annual ticket revenue" and it's easy to see why people keep coming back: Maurice Sendak's sets are glorious.
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